Posted On: 2021-05-08 13:52:06
Girlchild
Being born in this cruel world as a girl is one of the most challenging tasks for many. The girl child is considered a bad omen to the people with the ill mentality and the superstitious. When born in the families of these people, the little soul has to fight to survive and live every moment. In many parts of the world being a girl and even giving birth to one is a curse.
A girl’s life is full of changes and difficulties right from birth. Every girl has to hide from the eyes of predators, as these predators do not spare these girls on the basis of their age. Every day a number of cases are highlighted in the news wherein some of the cases the victims are infants. This makes the parents worry about their daughter’s safety. Teenage girls are preyed upon the most and when they try to defend themselves it has even ended up in acid attacks and other modes of ruthless killings.
Womanhood: The beginning of Menstruation and its Trauma
The main changes happen when a girl gets her first period, approximately after the age of 9 years. When the Uterus starts to build a thick lining (endometrium) preparing it to carry the next generation in her womb. This thick lining consists of blood and mucus. Every month the ovaries send an egg on this endometrium bed. The endometrium lining in the uterus is for the fetus which gets formed when the sperm enters the female body and fertilizes the egg. But when the egg does not meet the sperm this bed along with the unused egg leaves the body in the form of “periods”. The period blood leaves the body, straining the uterus, which is a painful procedure.
From this moment, every month she has to tolerate a certain amount of pain inflicted upon her by her own body for a couple of days every month. Some of these girls experience intense cramps that last up to more than 3 days and can be as intense as experiencing a heart attack. The blood leaves the body sometimes as blood lumps which is a different kind of torture. It is just not physical pain, but also mentally traumatic. Girls are even assumed to be possessed when they are in their periods as anything tends to trigger them during this time due to hormonal imbalance. Every girl has to be very extremely cautious during this time as sometimes blood overflow can cause stain on her clothes. In most places as there is no awareness about the monthly cycle girls go through, which results in unhygienic care during periods, leading to various infections and diseases.
During this time, girls are told to stay away from the kitchen, religious places, and sacred plants as she is considered Impure. People tend to forget that this “impure cycle” is the reason for their existence in this universe. Even in the 21st century, the word “period” or “menstruation” is not allowed to be spoken out loud in many places. There is an awkward silence when a sanitary pad falls out in public or even while asking for sanitary napkins in medical stores. People tend to make a big deal of these minimal things. In this ongoing Era of increased awareness regarding menstruation, the use of blue liquid in ads of Sanitary Napkins is misleading. Even while watching a movie or a show when the ad for pads, tampons, and menstrual cups pops up, there is an uncomfortable silence in the air.
Although the periods last for 3 to 7 days still it is a dreadful experience for every woman. Some of the girls go through periods just like any other day without feeling any pain which is a blessing. But after the first menstrual cycle, the hormones start acting up and so does every female body. Breasts enlarge, hips widen, face full of cysts and pimples, body hair especially around genitals and all lead to restrictions on her life, especially about how she interacts with the opposite gender, what she wears and how she carries herself. These changes might differ on hormones of different bodies and the restrictions are dependent on the environment she grows in. But, after a girl gets her period her safety is of major concern. Most of the females who go through assault are adolescents and are still unaware of this despiteful world. If not molested physically, society gives a present of judging them on the basis of their looks. Being catcalled, gossiping about her, sl*t-shaming her, and whatnot.
The little shoulders of a girl now weigh heavy as she has to take care of herself and cautiously tread along to face the changed outlook of society. This is the phase when a little girl blooms into a beautiful woman. After going through all this and still fighting these social norms a girl starts her journey with a new set of changes as a woman.
A new phase: Motherhood
After unprotected sex, the phase of pregnancy starts. Pregnancy is one of the most beautiful yet painful stages of a woman's life if the pregnancy is a planned one. It becomes unpleasant and more painful when the pregnancy is an unwanted or unplanned one. Signs of pregnancy include, morning sickness, missed period, tender breasts, fatigue, increased urination, but these signs might differ for everyone. The traditional and filmy way of knowing that the woman is pregnant is when the woman vomits which is often triggered by smell or food which isn’t foul. After confirming the pregnancy a completely new phase of anxiousness starts. The duration of pregnancy among humans is approximately 40 weeks. The unwanted or complicated pregnancies can be aborted (terminated) before the 12th week for the safety of the mother (The first trimester). During the pregnancy period, the to-be mother has to be extremely careful. One little mistake can lead to miscarriage and sometimes dangerous to the life of the mother. Restrictions are imposed on pregnant women for her and her baby’s well-being. Eating Papaya, sprouted Potato, uncooked fish, and every food product that causes heat is to be avoided. Unpasteurized milk, high caffeine intake, smoking, drinking, lifting heavy weights, drugs, and even sauna and hot tubs are to be avoided mainly during the first trimester. Regular checkups to ensure the safety of the baby, proper rest, multivitamin pills, working out, well-cooked seafood, and yoga are proven to lead to safe and healthy pregnancy.
After 12 to 16 weeks of pregnancy, the baby bump starts to be evident as the uterus starts to expand. The fetus has its heartbeat by the age of 6 weeks and the fetal pole starts to be visible during sonographies. Soon, week by week, the fetus starts to form different organs and is fully formed by the end of pregnancy. Even the breasts start to grow during the time. The skin feels tighter, small contractions appear after strenuous activities, dental problems, nasal problems, leg cramps, swellings in almost every part of the body especially feet takes place, and even urinary tract infections. The hormones are all over the place during the whole pregnancy causing emotional stress. The diet is for 2 people, one for the baby and one for the mother. Regular Checkups are a must during this trimester(which starts at 12 weeks and ends at 26 weeks).
The third trimester which starts from the 27th week to the end of the pregnancy is also a crucial one. During this phase, the fetus almost grows every organ and opens its eyes, and can hear everything happening around. After a couple of weeks into the trimester, the baby starts kicking, grasping, and stretching in the womb. The growth of baby hair starts and in the 30th week, the baby can fully open eyes and can hear everything. The baby starts taking slow breaths after 32 weeks and the formation of nails takes place. After 36 weeks the baby starts to intensify its movements and starts turning and tossing around to make space for itself. After 37 weeks the baby turns head down giving the position of birth. If the baby isn’t head down then the doctor tries to manipulate the position by inserting a needle in the arm, relaxing the uterus, and manipulates to move the baby by massaging the womb. As legs down labor can be difficult. After approximately 40 weeks of pregnancy, the baby is fully developed and ready to enter the world.
At times, the pregnancy might be more than 40 weeks as the due date is a mere assumption. After 40 weeks the mother can go into labor any day and has to be careful about the signs that indicate the labor. It is the amniotic sac in which the baby stays in the womb before birth. This sac is filled with watery fluids and it breaks during labor which is also known as ‘water breaks’. It generally breaks during labor and if it breaks before it, it is known as premature labor. The signs are if there is extreme wetness in your vagina or drops of watery fluid dropping or even a gush of yellowish fluid leaving the body involuntarily. Soon after, contractions follow. The labor is of 2 parts: 1st the latent part and then the active part. In the latent phase, the cervix dilates up to 4 cm and lasts for about 8 hours if it is the woman's first baby(nullipara) and 4 hours when the woman has delivered a baby before this (multipara). In the next active phase, the cervix becomes fully dilated and the baby descends to the mid pelvis. This process takes about 5 hours for nullipara and 2 hours for multipara.
After the cervix is fully dilated and the baby’s head is visible the third stage of labor begins where the baby is delivered. The mother is shifted to the delivery room where she is made to push the baby out of her and when the baby’s head pops out the mother is asked to stop pushing and the baby’s head is cleared of amniotic fluid and mucus before the baby breathes. After suctioning the head, the mother is asked to push again until the baby is fully out of the womb. They cut the umbilical cord and membranes attached to the womb. Then the doctors wait for the baby to cry or turn the baby upside down and hit the bum to make the child cry. After the baby starts crying the baby is given to the mother to hold the baby. Vaginal delivery is also one of the most painful things in the world but it has lower complications.
The other complicated form of delivering a baby is through C- section when the baby’s breech position cannot be made head down, the mother and child have certain health issues, the mother already had a C- section or surgery before the pregnancy, the baby is too big to be delivered through vaginal delivery and during complications. During this process, the majority of women are put under general anesthesia. The doctors then put an incision generally horizontal 2 inches above the vagina known as the bikini cut. The 7 layers are cut with precision then the baby is removed and the umbilical cord is cut. The womb is then stitched with dissolvable stitches and the baby, instead of being handed to the mother, is first given to a doctor for a thorough checkup. C-section deliveries have more risks than vaginal delivery as it is a surgery.
Mothers go through all this pain and difficulties for nine months just to see their baby born in this world. They bring this new life with lots of hope and love. They sacrifice everything in the process of their baby growing up. Mothers always put forth their babies' needs first.
Infertility
Around 60 to 80 million couples worldwide are infertile among which 25% are from India. Every infertile couple often has a hollow feeling when they aren’t able to conceive and society makes it even worse for them.
Many women are detected with Endometriosis, PCOS, and PCOD disorders at a young age which is lifelong and hinders the process of being a mother. Every 1 in 12 women have PCOS but some remain undiagnosed. According to a survey done by the World Health Organization (WHO) in 2012 around 3.4% (116 million) women across the globe have PCOS, which if not taken care of may prevent pregnancy in the future. Hypothalamic Dysfunction, Ovarian Failure, too much prolactin, pelvic inflammatory disease, Pelvic Tuberculosis, Tumours, cervical stenosis, and sometimes some unexplained factors can be the reason for infertility in women. In many countries of Africa, the Middle East, and Asia many tribal groups perform Female Genital Mutation (FGM) before the age of 5. In this process, the inner and outer labia, as well as the walls of Vulva, are cut or stitched by the seniors of the tribe to protect the so-called “purity and beauty” of women. This leads to lifelong pain, various infections, fatal bleeding, formation of cysts, inability to get pregnant, complications during birth, and even fatal bleeding.
Low sperm production, injuries, smoking, chronic health issues, infections, tumors, Varicocele, Chromosome defect, Celiac diseases, undescended testicles might be the causes of infertility in men. Working with radiations can be a cause of infertility too.
With the help of progressing technology even infertile couples are able to conceive. Some of these methods are IVF, Test Tube, ICSI, Donors eggs or sperms, surrogacy, and many other procedures that are under research. Most of these treatments are costly.
Role of Crowdfunding
Crowdfunding platforms help with complicated pregnancies where sometimes the cost of the treatment is higher than a poor or middle-class person can afford also with the critical births of premature babies. Crowdfunding helps infertile couples to have a baby through medical procedures which helps in taking care of the high cost of the treatment. Crowdfunding presents a venue for these people to raise a campaign on a platform and people who empathize can come forward and help these needy couples.
A couple became parents with the help of a crowdfunding platform (through adoption)
Tara and Jeremy, a Florida couple, were happily married and were trying to conceive for a long time. After 4 years of waiting, they opted for medical treatments like IVF and test tubes but Tara failed to conceive. After spending thousands of dollars on the treatments for two years, the couple was financially and emotionally drained. Finally, it clicked to Tara that their last and best option was to adopt. But due to the financial debt, they were in they couldn’t do so. After giving it a thought the couple raised their story in the form of an emotional video on one of the biggest crowdfunding platforms and their story inspired millions of people. Within hours thousands of dollars were raised for the couple. Within 2 months Tara and Jeremy raised a total of 27,000 USD exceeding their targeted amount of 20,000 USD by 7,000 USD. They had enough money to go Active on American Adoptions and they did so. A large number of people supported them not just financially but emotionally too. After five and a half months of waiting suddenly on the way back home from her office, she received a phone call from the Kansas Adoption center. She was asked to put Jermy on a con call and the couple was informed that the woman who chose them as her baby’s adoptive parents had given birth the same morning. Though the cost of adoption was over Tara and Jermey’s budget they agreed to it and asked for a couple of days to arrange the amount. Tara reached out to her beloved supporters and followers and raised an amount of 5,000 USD which too was soon met and they were able to adopt the baby. The cost of their travel was still not possible as they could not afford it. The couple’s parents, the parents of one of Tara’s students, and a friend’s father who himself was adopted made their travel and a 12 day stay in Kansas possible. They met their son, Zeke, who was just a few days old at that time. Tara and Jeremy are proud parents of Zeke. As a proud mother of an adoptive son, Tara continues to blog about her life with Zeke and is an adoption advocate through her blogs.
A couple became parents with the help of a crowdfunding platform (through IVF)
Rebbeca Stevenson (Becky) gave birth to a healthy baby boy with her partner and the family felt complete. The pregnancy and birth took place without any complications. They named their beautiful son ‘Charlie’. The family was overwhelmed with his presence and took care of his every need. But soon after 6 weeks, watery fluids started leaving his body. The concern was raised in the maternity hospital but the doctors said that it happens with every baby and there is no point to be concerned. Still, Becky and her partner were not sure if Charlie was okay and their gut feeling was right. Just a day before the completion of 7 weeks Charlie stopped movements and Becky rushed him to the hospital with her husband. The doctors informed her that there are no chances of saving Charlie and it was too late. Charlie died on 14th June 2014. This incident traumatized the family as no post-mortem was done on Charlie and a report for the reason of Charlie’s death was raised 2-3 weeks after Charlie’s death. But still, they didn’t leave hope of having a second baby. They tried again but failed. They even tried IVF twice but still, they couldn’t conceive. The treatment only drained their savings. This case was informed by Becky in the BBC You and Yours: Maternity services. The listeners started inquiring about how they can help Becky and after talking to the BBC community, a campaign on a crowdfunding platform was raised to fund the treatment of the third IVF. The campaign raised 6,130 euros which was about 87% of the targeted amount of 7,000 Euros but still with the help of this amount the IVF treatment was successful and Becky conceived twins. Both the babies were born on 27th November 2017 by C- section and were healthy. Becky thanked all the supporters for helping her be a mother again.
Crowdfunding helped these women and many more to be turned into proud mothers. Being a mother through natural pregnancy, medical pregnancy, or adoption, the challenge stays the same and so does the love. And however the baby might be born, a mother’s heart always carries the baby in her heart throughout her life and loves all of her children unconditionally.
We, at Filaantro, a crowdfunding platform salute every mother and hope that we can help them in every possible way.
“The toughest and most uncredited role in the world is of a Mother”.
Author : Hritika Singh
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